Greta and the Chickens

There was a guy named Pankaj, and he had a cook in his house—an auntie named Greta. Greta was quite a young cook, and she loved to make lemonade for herself. But every time she made lemonade, she would get really, really hungry. And when she got hungry, she would eat anything that came in front of her. This was one of her quirks.

One day, Pankaj told Greta, "I have a very special guest coming this evening. Make two chickens—full chickens. This guy eats a lot, and I'm also hungry. So make two full chickens, nicely roasted and marinated. Make them nice and plump, and make them very, very tasty."

Greta said, "Okay, okay, sure, sure, sure."

So Greta went to the market and got some really nice chickens. She took out their feathers, cleaned them, and started putting on a lot of marination. Then she put them inside the oven.

Soon, the smell started coming, and she began feeling very, very hungry because she could smell the chicken. Then she felt thirsty too, so she went down and made lemonade. By the time she had her lemonade, she was even more hungry now.

But she didn't want to eat the chicken. She couldn't eat the chicken because it was made for Pankaj and his guest, right?

So she called out to Pankaj. "Sir, the chicken is about to be ready. This is a very special type of chicken. It has to be eaten immediately after it comes out of the oven. If I have to keep it, store it, and then reheat it, it won't be so tasty. This is so plump and tasty—you have to eat it now. Where is your guest?"

Pankaj said, "I don't know. He should have come by now, but he hasn't come. Let me message him." So he messaged the guest, but there was no response.

Greta said, "Sir, sir, this is very special chicken. You have to go and get the guest. Otherwise, the whole taste will be ruined. It's a very tasty chicken. It has to be eaten as soon as it comes out of the oven."

He said, "Okay, okay. Just reduce the heat of the oven a little bit. I'll run and go find this guy. He must be lost somewhere. Maybe I'll go to the corner—he might be there."

She said, "Okay, okay." So he ran away.

By this time, because it was so hot, she was feeling so hot, so she made another lemonade. She had the full lemonade, and now she could not resist. She was so hungry. And by this time, the smell of the chicken was filling the entire kitchen.

She said to herself, "Maybe what I'll do is, I'll eat one leg." So she cut one leg and ate it, and it was so yummy. It was the yummiest chicken she'd ever had.

She said, "Wow, nice." But she was still hungry.

Then she thought, "Oh, I've already taken out one leg. Maybe I'll take out the other leg also. They won't even notice that the leg is gone." So she cut the other leg and ate it.

Now, one chicken was small, and the other chicken was big. She thought, "What to do? They'll find out that I've eaten the legs."

She looked out, and she still couldn't see Mr. Pankaj or the guest anywhere. And she wasn't able to resist because the chicken was so tasty. So slowly, slowly, she kept taking more.

She said to herself, "Now I'll eat the other legs also, because then they'll become symmetrical. Both chickens will be without two legs, so maybe they won't notice." So she ate the other legs, and now both chickens had no legs.

Then she took one wing, and then the other wing. Then she took a little bit of the breast. In about fifteen minutes, she had eaten both chickens completely. She was burping after eating both the chickens.

Then Pankaj came back. He said, "Oh yeah, yeah, I found him, I found him. He's following me, he's coming back, coming back."

She said, "Okay, okay. What you do? I've made the chicken. You go and sharpen the knife because the chicken is very, very juicy."

So Pankaj went and started sharpening the knife.

Now Greta was very worried because she had eaten both the chickens. What would she serve to the guest?

Then she had an idea.

When the bell rang and Pankaj's guest arrived, she told him, "Sir, I must warn you. You know this guy, Pankaj? Today he's sharpening the knife. When you come, he wants to cut off both your ears. So I think you better run away."

The guest said, "Really?"

She said, "Listen, he's sharpening the knife." And the guest heard the sound—shh, shh, shh. He got really scared and started running away.

Then Greta went to Pankaj and said, "Sir, sir, your guest—he smelled the chicken, he loved it so much, he grabbed both the chickens and he's running away. He's run away with both the chickens!"

Pankaj said, "What? Really? I must find him. Why is he running with the chicken?" So he had the knife in his hand and went outside.

His friend's name was Rohit. Pankaj shouted, "Rohit, Rohit, wait, wait, don't take both! Okay, please stop, I'll just take one, I'll just take one!"

Rohit thought, "Maybe he's not going to take both my ears—he'll take only one of my ears." So Rohit started running even faster and faster. Pankaj started running after him.

By this time, Rohit just ran away, and Pankaj came back. He said, "Oh my God, Greta, I'm so sorry you made two chickens. This Rohit fellow ran away with both chickens. I couldn't even taste it."

And she said, "No worries, no worries, sir. I'll make it again. Don't worry, don't worry."

This way, Greta fooled everybody and ate both the chickens.